Wednesday, November 22, 2006

Hu's on First



Presedent Chen Shui-Bian of Taiwan President Hu of China and Premier Wen of China

OK OK OK OK OK OK so there's these three guys right? One's named Hu (who), one's named Wen, and the other's first name Shui-Bian in Chinese sounds like "whatever" (although I'm sure there is a different tone used). So they're all these big important dudes right? And they have this big official meeting to discuss trade policy between Taiwan and China (this would actually never happen because they hate each other) but just go along with it.

Hu: When will he get here?
Whatever: Who?
Hu: Wen
Whatever: Who?
Hu: No, I'm Hu, wen is coming soon.
Whatever: yes but when?
Hu: Wen is coming When?
Whatever: That's what I'm asking you.
Hu: Whatver. (said in a 14 year old girl kind of way)
Whatever: Yes?
Hu: Yes what?
Whatever: Well, who is joining us?
Hu: I'm already here!
Whatever: Who?
Hu: Me!
Whatever: So who will be here When?
Hu: I'm already here!
Hu: What I want to know is who is holding up Wen.
Whatever: Who's doing what now?
Hu: Whatever. (Walks out in disgust)
Whatever: Yes?
Wen: Sorry I'm late.
Whatever: Yeah, Who just left.
Wen: Who?
etc etc etc

Tuesday, November 21, 2006

Cultural Learnings of Taiwan for make benefit of glorious nation of USA


Before I start on this rant I will give you, the dear reader, a pleasing picture of a cool monastery in Northern China. Sent to me by my friend Kurt who has been sighted thereabouts. Ok, so Taiwan, pros and cons. Pro: You get really good service here. As a consumer, the people you meet are terribly polite. Every store, it's "welcome to out store", "how can I help you today?", and "yes sir". (Although mostly this is said in Chinese, the idea is the same). The clerk will go out of his way to find anything you want, will even literally run to the back to find it. They will bow to you and if they can't find something you want will apoligize profusely. As a consumer this is great. Con: In personal relationships this can be tricky. This super polite attitude may often be superficial and hiding the person's true feelings, which may be the opposite. This can lull you into a sense that everything's OK until they turn on you. This is caused by their society, going back to Confucious, whose main idea was social harmony through conformity and obedience to authority without question. Recently President Hu of the PRC claimed his new vision of China's "Harmonious society" which he claims puts him in the pantheon of great thinkers such as Mao and Zhaoping (in Chinese eyes these men are great thinkers). But this is not a new idea. It has ruled China for 5,000 years. So this means people will smile to your face even when they hate you because getting mad disrupts this precious social harmony. This is sort of disturbing to Americans because we may feel unsure of a person's true feelings.
Pro: As an American you will be treated very well here. You are almost like a movie star or something. Everywhere you go people will stare and say "look it's a foreigner, or it's an American" (in Chinese), with the kind of schock and awe that Americans would have if they saw a celebrity. You can use this to get what you want and get away with just about anything (in most cases).
Con: For the same reason celebrities hate the paparazzi, this becomes annoying. When living in a foreign country one hopes to blend in and act like a local (I do at least). This worked when I lived in Poland because I looked like everybody else. My proudest moments were when someone at the bus stop would ask me "when is the next bus?" (in Polish), and I couldn't answer cause I can't speak Polish, but just to galnce at me they assumed that I was one of them. Not so in Taiwan. I stand out like a sore thumb. This gets old when everybody on the street has to stop and say "Hello", even though that is the only English word they know. When in an elevator, or walking on a campus a group (they only have the nerve to speak in a group) they will see me and someone will say something terribly clever like "10th floor", or "How are you today?", and then the whole group will burst out laughing. But this is the teeneage/younger set. Older people will genuinely try to use English to talk to you.
Pro: You can make good money here and there is lots of work.
Con: Your boss may speak poor English, and may surprise you with stuff you can't imagine in the US. My roomate gets paid every week, and last week they told him that he hadn't been paying taxes (no one told him to do so) and so this week they would take his whole check to pay it. With no notice, on payday. Kinda ruins your whole week. At my school, I started in Aug. and they said they couldn't pay me until Nov. They did get around this, but only through dreadfully difficuly maneuvering. They constantly send me memos and e-mails in Chinese, and wonder why I don't respond or comply.

Saturday, November 18, 2006

Victory- as so sweet


Yeah baby! I'm smoking a cigar! Michigan sucks! Republicans suck! Victory!
Wendler and Rumsfeld suck too! Ha! We're No. 1! We're No. 1! I credit my lucky red Ohio State hat. I had lost it and freaked and tore up the house, then I found it. During the game I took it off for awhile and we fumbled, then I put it back on and we won. It will now be framed and hung on the wall.
Listening to it on the internet radio, the guys are already saying, let's go to Arizona
to watch the Championship game. Well, I wish I could, but no way. Still, it's awesome.
And in the works we still have LeBron for the Cavs.

Street


A couple of typical street scenes in Taiwan.

Sunrise

I usually don't get up early, but I had to get up at 5am today to listen to the Ohio State-Mich. game on internet radio. This is the view from my apartment balcony on the 9th floor.

The Garden of Erudition

I think my Dad would like this.

The Beach


Went to the beach the other day. It is still 85 degrees here so the beach is still an option in Mid-Nov. There is a very long coast line close to Tainan, and what they call "The Gold Coast", however it's pretty dingy. It could be nice, if it was cleaned up, but it is too dirty. Here you can see the pier and me on the sea-wall. I was watching the crabs fight the giant sea-cockroaches. It was a good battle. Actually you could train them and have bets on who will win. In China they have professional scorpion fighting. So its possible. You can also see the people fishing on the pier. Pretty normal right? Well, except the sign in Chinese clearly says "no fishing on the pier".
OK, so you figure "when the cats away the mice will play". They will fish as long as no cops/authority types are around. Well this may apply in the US, but not in Taiwan. The pier is actually right next to the coast gaurd office, which has several boats, and do not even need them because they could easily walk over (it is so close) and say "hey guys, read the sign, no fishing". But of course they don't. This points to one of the major problems of Taiwan, which I call the "Chiang-Kai-Shek system of Management" (copyright pending). This consists of making a bunch of rules from the top down, some of which make sense, many of which don't, and then largely failing to enforce the law while lecturing (or haranging) the people about moral values in a cheesy boy-scout harry Potter type of way, so then largely the people ignore the law so that they can live their lives. Then the authorities will randomly crack down and enforce the law (maybe 10% of the time, but that is just a guesstamate). Sometimes this is good, like traffic cops pulling people over for not wearing helmets. Sometimes this is bad like when the cops start shooting in the middle of a crowded street at a guy driving recklessly because he's been sniffing glue. Sadly this same concept of management (or mismanagement) also applies to parenting. I have often seen parents in public just let their kids run wild, running, screaming, kicking, everything. The parents will calmly sit there and ignore it for as long as half an hour, then suddenly get up and grab, hit, smack, or yell at the kid. Then they will go back to doing whatever, and the kid will be calm for a while, and then slowly start acting up again, as the cycle repeats itself. So the moral of the story is, if you make reasonable demands, and then follow-up to see if what you want is being done, then you won't have to freak out later when you find that the exact opposite of what you wanted is being done. The Chiang-Kai-Shek system of management is, by the ay, also a major part of the reason why the Nationalists lost the war and had to come to Taiwan in the first place.



The little things

OK, so usually life is about all the little things like, did I leave the iron on? Did I forget my keys? etc. etc. and slowly if you do those things right, and slowly learn something over time and make some progress you can feel like "OK, maybe life is Ok and maybe getting better. However, big victories, really big victories, are very rare and in between. However lately, there has been some kind of major shift in the force (So I just watched Star Wars 3 again). Congress, Rumsfeld, and Wendler all sacked? And now Ohio State to beat Mich. and go undefeated No. 1, and Troy Smith win the Heisman with no real no. 2 team to play for the championship? Things must be going well.