Propaganda machines

Many old ex-pats here complain of the noise caused by the celebrations of gods birthday. And for you chirstians out there who think this only happens once a year, the Chinese have a pantheon of Gods that would shame the best pagan, there is a gods birthday 3-4 times a week. Seriously. And they get out the firecrackers and bang a drum and dress up in that lion costume and ask you for money. It is cool at first and then it gets really annoying. Anyways this rarely bothers me. For whatever reason, i have only seen it once or twice. However the real problem is the propaganda machines. This is what woke me up today. It is a blue truck with a megaphone attached to the top, the only equivalent thing we have is the ice-cream truck. He comes down the street blaring his crappy message. It's in Chinese, or possibly Taiwanese, so I have no idea what it is, but I guess it goes something like this: "Come on down to crazy eddie's mattress warehouse, where the prices are so low, you'll think I'm crazy! Located on blah blah street, call blah blah number. Legal disclaimer: Sat. and Sun. only, this message is not actually intended to indicate a sale but simply a ruse to trick you into coming to my crappy store." This message is on a loop, said through a megaphone attached to the top of a truck, said by a girl who sounds about 15 yrs old, and he will pull up to a corner and just stop, so that the loop gets played again and again. I live on the 9th floor, off a side street, not really all that close to the main street, and this woke me up like someone yelling at me in my room. It is like the voice is in your room with you. With all the doors and windows shut and the curtains drawn. So as I realize what has woken me up and why, I start to think about my weapon of choice, but unfortunately I don't have a baseball bat. So I start thinking " A knife?" cause I am really gonna go down there and hurt this guy if he doesn't move that *^#$%&^** truck. Then, finally, agonizingly, he moves off. Just imagine in America, this guy would get pelted with rocks until the police came, especially if he woke you up Sunday am with that shit. Here it is a fun normally happy part of life. Taiwanese like it cause they like to feel like they know what is going on. They think the countryside is boring becuase it doesnt' have stuff like that. In chinese propaganda doesn't have a negative connotation, it simply means "information". But imagine the driver. This tape is about 30 sec. long and its on a loop. And it is sooooo loud. So this guy drives this truck around 8 hrs a day (maybe 10-12hrs actually) listening to the same 30 sec. loop over and over and over. How long until you go batshit insane? For me I wouldn't last a week at this job. You would have to lock me up after a day or two. But his guy does it everyday. I dream about going to the depot and setting off an explosive charge that destroys all the blue trucks at once. Speaking of violence, I also need a small metal pipe to keep in the trunk of my scooter, because everyday somebody cuts me off in traffic and almost kills me, and just blazes away as if nothing happened. So if I ever do actually get hit, and am still able to move afterwards i'm comin for ya. I will go upside your head, preferably with said metal pipe. Tainan, you're on notice. You hit me, we're gonna brawl, and I may lose, but the advantage I have is that the Taiwanese won't expect to have to fight after ramming me. They will expect to just drive away. So when I go upside their head I will definitely get the surprise attack factor in. Of course it could be a woman, so I will stop once I can see it s a woman, but those first few blows will still come. If its a dude, its on and it will be ugly. Another advantage I will have in this situation is that I always wear my helmet, and many taiwanese don't, so when I come after you, i am protected and you ain't, its gonna get ugly. I don't care about the lawsuit, i don't care that your brother/cousin/father/ will come after me and take revenge when I least expect it, if you hit me, and its your fault, i'm goin upside your head. And i've been going to the gym lately.